Lessons for my back pocket: 2021 consolidated

17 Dec 2021

As I did my own consolidating, and prepared this end of year inner workbook for you, these are the key learnings I’m popping in my back pocket as I prepare for a little rest between this year and the next.

1. I am a new person every day

The deep desire I’ve had to shift gears for next year (and my resistance to making that shift) has revealed to me how important it is to be okay with the fact that I will always be recreating myself. Next year I’m letting go of my ceremony work after four wonderful years of weddings, blessings, namings, and memorials. I feel like I’ve learned what I needed to from this role and have integrated into the rest of my offerings.

I normally move into a new year knowing exactly where I’m going to be for the next 52 weekends. Next year, I have nothing in place. No retreats, no workshops, no ceremonies. It’s a terrifyingly blank canvas. Particularly in these last few weeks as the reality of ‘next year’ actually arriving has hit home, I’ve felt the resistance and the scared little girl in me wanting to fill my calendar up with bookings just to feel safe. I’m soothing her with tender affirmations and trusting that next year will unfold in perfect timing as I allow myself to fully embody the new person I am each day.

2. Health is paramount

This was the year I got a handle on my chronic asthma and neck pain. I’d been avoiding ‘treating’ them because it felt like giving up on the possibility that I could overcome through spiritual practice and natural remedies. Only once I had my health back did I realise how many nights of no sleep and days of chronic pain I had been allowing to disrupt my life, and limit my potential. I’m always the first to be checking in with Inna Segal on the emotional root of a health issue, but I have had a wonderful reminder of my humanness this year, and accepted that perhaps for karmic or other reasons unknown, there are some issues we are simple not ready or able to self-heal.

3. The love I want is moonlight

I would never have imagined I could be so happy in an intimate relationship that feels the way my relationship does. My standout quote from the year comes from dear friend and tea goddess Andjelka. I was describing to her how uncertain I felt in my relationship because it had none of the intensity of past relationships. I wasn’t obsessed. There wasn’t any lusty head rushes or fiery conflict. Andjelka offered me this metaphor:

The love we want is not fireworks, fireworks shine neon-bright and fizzle quickly.

The love we want is like moonlight. It waxes and wanes, but never disappears, it’s gentle, and you never have to wonder when it’s gonna burn out.

This is the year I became so very comfortable in my moonlight love. A love that, like the moon itself, is really not its own light at all, but a reflection of some other great light. I have so much still to learn about sustaining this light, but I suspect that, along with a little good fortune, it is perhaps a reflection of the love I have for myself.


Before we move into the expansive practices of manifesting a beautiful 2022, let's integrate the learnings of the orbit we've just journeyed. I know how tempting it is to rush to the finish line of the year, switch on your out of office, pop a bottle of champagne and close the door on the year that's been; but, the time we take now to reflect and consolidate will serve us immeasurably in entering our next season with clarity.