Expanding or Striving: Which growth mode are you in?

01 Sep 2021

A tantric lifestyle is about process. It places emphasis on the how and why of doing things, rather than the who, what, where. So when it comes to our growth and increasing our abundance it’s important that we integrate these spiritual teachings into the way we manifest and evolve. We want to expand in alignment with our dharma - our highest purpose - rather than force our way into a version of our life that isn’t actually right for us. Energetically there is a critical difference between expansion (evolving into a version that feels charming and stretchy and exciting) VS pushing to achieve something we think we think we should do in order to achieve a certain outcome.

Expansion arises from the powerful energy of our contentment and gratitude for what already is, and our belief in our innate potential to amplify that.

Striving comes from a feeling of ‘not enough’.

Have you very caught yourself thinking “I’d be able to stop hustling so hard if I just made x salary” or “I could relax and enjoy my life if I had x, or looked like y”. “When such and such happens, I’ll be happy”.

Striving is fertile ground for suffering because our attention is directed towards what we don’t have (time, money, a certain car, a number on the scales, a job title etc).

Expansion is full of joy because our attention is firmly connected to what we do have and what we know we already are.

I have used tools for conscious expansion (meditation, affirmations, sublimation, vision boarding, healing trauma, de-programming) to manifest a career, home, relationship, body, voice and lifestyle that is pure joy to me. A life that feels genuinely like I chose it, created it and I wouldn’t want it any other way.

On the deepest level my ‘why’ (the purpose) of my expansion is to increase my capacity to be of service. To make myself a more powerful channel for sharing the wisdom that comes to me and through me.

The more connected I am to this intention, the less energy I waste being concerned with how to “get what I want”. I already have what I want. I have a life I love and I curate it to be so.

Expansion then is saying “more please” and preparing myself to integrate the lessons and growth I need to experience to be able to hold a bigger space, maintain a more powerful field, and remain in integrity as the role I play stretches.

So, you want to move out of striving and into that sweet flow state of expansion, manifestation and alignment.


1. What right now is separating you from joy and fulfilment? (What does your mind tell you that you need right now in order to achieve happiness or success?)

Write it all out. Every little thing that you think is separating you from living your best life in this moment whether its health, wealth, support, a person, a thing, whatever it is. Write it all out. Stare it in the face.

Whatever you’ve written down - these are things that have all your power right now. It’s time to take your power back.

Imagine you have all those things you just wrote about. You wake up and there’s been an overnight miracle. You’ve got all the money you need in your bank account, you feel well and motivated, you’re confident in yourself, you have all the resources you need - whatever they may be.

2. What would your day look like today if you have everything you need and your job is simply to show up as the best version of yourself?

Write it all out. From start to finish. You wake up and what do you do? What do you eat? How do you speak? Who do you speak to? Describe the whole flow of your day from start to end. How do you sleep? How do you take time for yourself? How are you of service? What impact do you have in the world? How do you feel?

3. Come up with 3 things you can do today to live your day as the person you just described.

Trust the universe to take care of all the logistics to reconfigure your life, remove the obstacles, and bring in the necessary resources. Start. Showing. Up. Don’t wait for proof that the universe wants to support your expansion - demonstrate your trust first. They may be tiny little acts of showing up. It could be the way you dress, one phone call you make, asking for help when you usually wouldn’t, paying a bill on time when you usually wouldn’t. Whatever it is, today is the day to claim those small acts of faith for yourself and send the message to the universe that you are ready for expansion. No more playing small. No more hustling in a grind that’s moving you nowhere but towards burnout.

From now on your job is to find more and more ways to turn your excuses into action from a place of joy and appreciation for what you do have and what you already are.

Let it be easy. Let it be fun. Let it feel good.